Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Panama and the Brimstone

As you may know, I have a song called Blues for Judas.
Fuck it, here's the words:
Somebody had to do it Somebody had to be the one
Somebody had to do it Somebody had to get it done
Somebody had to do it For the Kingdom to come

Somebody had to do it Somebody had to follow his will
Somebody had to do it Somebody had to put him on that hill
Somebody had to do it For the prophecy to be fulfilled

So God Bless Peter, God Bless Paul
But God bless Judas for takin that fall
Because somebody had to do it

Somebody had to do it Wouldn't be one a them guys from Gallilee
Somebody had to do it Wouldn't be one a them guys from Gallilee
Somebody had to do it, so I guess it had to be me

He said, One of you will betray me, and he looked me right in the eye
I said, I don't wanna be the one, Lord, that causes you to die
An he said, Now Judas, you know these fishermen'll never get through it
An Somebody, Somebody's gotta do it

Here, take this money they said.  You know where he is?
Thirty pieces of silver right in your hand, man, you can betray him with just a kiss
I said, He's down in the grove, there, with those fishermen friends of his


An after it was over and they'd killed him I went
Back up to the Temple and I took every cent
An I flung it at their feet, with not a penny spent
I said, You've killed the Musician.  I was just his Instrument.


So, anyway, you can understand that the church I go to is pretty tolerant, seein as how I go there.
So one Sunday I sang that song for the congregation to great applause and the ones who said anything said, Wow, that was really cool, etc.  Awesome, is, I think, the word the Cumberland Presbyterian Youth had for it.

Then the next week, the pastor lady calls me and says you know the Baptists are having a tent revival, and I'd like it if you'd meet me there and sing that song for them.
So I did.  Went over to the Baptist and their tent and sang my little Blues for Judas.
Silence.  You coulda heard an angel feather drop.  
So then the Baptist preacher jumps up on the stump there and starts laying into poor old Judas, about what a spawn of Satan he was-uh and betrayed the Lord-uh and I don't know what all else-uh.

I packed my little Martin up and got outta there, pausing to say to the lady pastor, Joyce, you KNEW what you were letting me in for, didncha?  And she just smiles and says sweetly, "I know you already knew, but I wanted to remind you of what a good ol fashioned fire-breathin spittle-flyin brimstone burnin Baptist church can be like. See you Sunday?"

Incidentally, and this may just be Sunday school gossip, but except for Peter every one of the Disciples met violent deaths.  The New Testament is pretty unclear about the afterlife of Judas; since he died the day after Jesus, was he the second in Heaven, following that thief who gained absolution from Jesus, or is he down there roasting as I write?