MONEY

MONEY

people keep writing me asking for money.

I mean, ME, of all people

I think it all started with my wife.

Yeah. That's the ticket, I'll blame her.

We used to get these pleas for money from

an Indian school and perhaps orphanage out west somewhere.

One time they offered us an Indian blanket

if we gave them $100.

I mean, who could pass that up, so we did.

We got this fleece kinda thing that was made in China.

You know the charity with the kids who need cleft palate repair?

Well, Patty used to fork over ten or twenty bucks every time she got something

from them in the mail.

Turns out the guy who runs the charity makes about 800K a year.

It seems that Barack, Elizabeth Warren, Sherrod Brown, Alan Grayson,

Truthout, MoveOn, and organizations I haven't even heard of

are totally gonna lose their elections or go under if I don't

come up with at least $25 apiece for them. I've never been this important.

So Patty weaseled me into writing a check to Michelle

for enough to pay for the brake job I need on the old Volvo

But that's it. No more mister nice guy. I'm gonna start direct emailing

these people and asking them for money.

But I ain't voting for Romney no matter how much superPac money he spends.

Why? Because then I'd REALLY be a sucker.